Grit Baby, GRIT!

The last two posts looked at dreaming as well as habits.  The whole idea is that we want to make shifts in life but how?  That is why I have looked at dreaming as the source.  On the other hand it seems like connecting dreams with hard goals and driving towards them have created a world that is in danger of falling apart.
That is also why habits can serve as a method of making a shift by focusing on the moment and intrinsic value.  From here the challenge is to stick to one thing.  Identify an area of passion that can be sustained over a period of time.  It means that you have to combine perseverance with sustained passion in order to get things right.  Not just an interest or curiosity but a burning passion for something over a long period and whenever something becomes too challenging you have the ability to persevere through the difficult times.  This is what is called grit and you can watch this video to understand it better.  I guess the words of Mister Han in the latest Karate Kid rings true: "Your focus needs more focus."

The challenge however is that you could be sticking to the wrong stuff.  Perhaps you have learned perseverance from your parents or you're that kind of person that never gives up.  You know that you have to do this thing no matter what and no-one can talk you out of it.  But what if it is not really a passion and what you are doing is in fact leading you in the wrong direction - not grit, just perseverance.  Ever hear that old saying that you climb the corporate ladder to the top only to find out that it is leaning up against the wrong wall.

On the other hand you could be too impatient because you are over-passionate.  Perhaps you are pushing too hard to get somewhere.  This is also not grit.  It is truly a delicate yet powerful combination that can propel you forward.  It is a way that you don't have to drive towards change but where you are internally transformed and change occurs around you.

This is truly a rare combination of sustained passion and perseverance that results in true grit.  I meet few people that display this but also find great challenges not to get distracted and rather isolate a passion.  One passion that will give my focus more focus and then... Persevere.

Not Goals, Habits

In the previous post I wrote about dreaming.  Simply just dreaming!  I see so many people that have given up and feel that they're dreams just don't matter anymore - what nonsense!  But that was last week and you are welcome to read more about that right here.



It does all start with dreams but my question is what follows next?  Set those big goals and hit it as hard as you possibly can?  Rev it up and see where it ends? Man O Man!  I am simply tired of all the rushing and pushing for bigger and badder every year by the "leaders" in society.  I do believe that we have to look at our behaviour and change, transform, grow and simply be amazing.  ...But how?

Just to recap: I have been working with people development and in business now for about 11 years within different fields and what strikes me every day is how simple it is to fail.  There are endless resources that are really excellent out there yet it is still so easy to fail.  It is simply about the behaviour that is so deeply rooted.  I think it is because we have faith in our behaviour; faith in our habits.  ...Faith that it will bring us comfort, security and protection against the thing we don't want - failure.  It is a little like believing that brushing your teeth will save your life.

What I am getting at here is that our habits shape us because they are rooted in our beliefs.  I am also challenging the approach that you need to change your beliefs before you change your behaviour.  I am not saying that your beliefs are not important but sometimes seeing is believing.  If you can see the effect that changed habits have on your life you will perhaps be persuaded to believe that you can.

I have gone through periods that I have had to choose to change habits (perhaps pressured to a certain extent) and through this have been able to see what I am capable of.  The reality is that when I change a habit my behaviour changes and I am made aware of what I believed about myself previously.  So here is the great epiphany: focus your focus and passion on habits rather than goals as an alternative approach. I guess it does relate to the principle of ensue that has this habit of popping up every time.  The point is that if you are doing something because you feel called to do it and make time in every day to pursue it there should be a breakthrough.  Focus on the outcome and it has a way of causing stress.  Be in the moment and find the intrinsic value of your activities, build habits (e.g. playing a guitar for an hour a day, every day between 8 and 9pm) around these activities and see real growth occur.

Dream, Just Dream

I have had some really beautiful conversations with some special people in the last few days and it has opened my eyes to the power of dreams.  Dreams are ideas deeply embedded within us that we hope will become real.  Yes, there is a lot of hard work that goes into making a dream come true but the beginning is so important.  ...The beginning is where your imagination takes you to a place that you are someone different.  It is a place where you have overcome fears and where you are truly living up to your potential.

This is as special as it gets.  The conversations that I have been having have really inspired me because I had the opportunity to share my dream with people as well as listen to the dreams of others.  What I have also found, sadly, is that there are a number of people that dream of getting away or out of something.  That's it; nothing more.  It is a fantasy of escape but with no destination or journey beyond that.  No dreaming.  In the same instance I am saddened and overjoyed because even if people aren't dreaming there is an opportunity to revive an old dream or begin a new one.

You are responsible to the world to live your dream and nothing less!  It is a responsibility that is the greatest privilege.  It starts with the reality of your dream; the acknowledgement that you do have a dream and that is as important as anyone else's.  No one can dream your dream for you and ultimately no-one can live it for you.  NO ONE BUT YOU!

By dreaming and living your dreams you fill this world with more beauty.  And that beauty no one else can give to the world except you.  We have every day to decide how we will live and if that decision is not powered by dreams what is it powered by?

Dare to dream and then dare to take dream-inspired action.  Dont' wait untill tomorrow or the most-ideal day.  TODAY!  Grab a pen and paper and write something down.  Put some pictures on a piece of paper.  Take photographs of things that inspire you and remind you of who you are and where you are heading.  Above all remind yourself that you are special and only you can dream your dreams.

Trust and Action

Last week's post was all about looking for the loopholes in our unwritten social contracts.  This week I would like to follow-up with a post looking at how much you trust and how much action you take?

I look at many people in my environment and see over-hasty and busy people.  I also see a lot of people that simply trust that things will work out without taking the appropriate actions.  In the last year I have gotten some good lessons on trust and I am still learning.  I know it is something of vital importance.  I can see that there are many times that I am confronted with fear being a failure and then react by trying extra hard or being extra busy - I over-compensate.  I lose sight of my purpose, become impatient and then let fear govern my action.  Like I mentioned above, I am learning to recognise the signs sooner, be calm and trust that the path I am on is the one that I need to be on.

From this awareness I concentrate on the few things that are really important.  I use journaling to bring my thoughts into the light and also look back at previous journal entries to remind me of why I am here.  The idea is to reduce things to the required minimum in order to release the beauty of life.  This is where the action is rooted and also combined with patience and trust - not so easy...

Think about which actions combined with trust (peace and contentment) will give the desired result.
Aha!  Now things are getting interesting - results, oh yeah!  Is that the focus?  Or should you be doing things for intrinsic reasons according to the principle of ensue?  I guess it is a bit of a paradox where you get the results by not focusing on it (no I am not on some experimental drug).

The point is not getting bogged down into distracting activities but to make sure that you are busy with the right stuff. It is a unrelenting focus on the non-negotiable basics of your life.  Never back down and always look for the loopholes in order to stay true to your path.  I don't want to sit back and wait for a super event that will change my life but I also do not want to run around trying to control everything due to fear that I will not make it.  My actions must flow from a place of trust and patience rooted in purpose and meaning.


P.s. I took the picture a few years back and I think it speaks to the approach of taking action from a place of trust and patience - easy and sure on the beach...

You Gotta Be a Lawyer

Nowadays you have to be a lawyer if you want to do things differently.  You might say: "Huh, are you nuts?  ...Me a lawyer?"  Nope, not nuts.  What I am referring to is the set ways of society.  Even though we have made great changes in the world we live in and there are many more opportunities and options there still are many rules, norms, and accepted ways of doing things - especially in the world of work.  Have a look at my previous post where I took a cynical view on the world of work and survival in order to look at some of the hidden norms and values that we perhaps do not question that much.

If you want to break out and really do things with flair and fire you need to ask yourself where the loopholes are.  Pretty much like a lawyer looking at a contract.  In life we pretty much have various unwritten contracts that help us along the way.  Whether it helps us in the right direction or the wrong one is debatable.  The point is that we engage in work, leisure, friendship, and many other good things based on certain assumptions/expectations of how we are supposed to do it.  And here is the magic of society:  These rules and norms guide us without us even knowing it.  We do that lovely little human thing called assume.  In my opinion wars are started on assumptions - don't assume.

We assume that friends are really honest with us (and themselves); we assume that the way that I am working is the right (or best) way; we assume that the way things are done is the best way (especially if someone senior with a title told me to); we assume that I can't take risks because I will fail; we assume that things won't get better so I might as well get use to it; we assume...

As a lawyer you don't assume, you investigate and look for areas where someone else assumed that they won't notice or see an important loophole.  So for example in my life I don't assume that things are set.  Very few things are.  Most things in life is invented and until someone else comes along that does not assume but rather investigates or challenges the 'as is' or status quo.  The art lies in how you dig in.  I have made a number of mistakes by being too direct or blunt as well as wanting to change the system before changing myself - very important lesson that I have learnt and need to look out for because it is a weakness - I'd rather change the system than myself.

So now I look for loopholes before I try to change the whole system as well as see where I need to be more diplomatic or soft in my approach and then pray for a lot of patience in order to change the system.  I gotta be a lawyer to go from survive to alive and make the loopholes work for me.  The big thing I realised is that it links to my highest practical values and that is what keeps me motivated.

P.s. Now if you are really curious you would wonder what the text in the picture is all about...