The Gifts of Pain

In my previous post I spoke about the challenges that I am going through in terms of physical pain.  I would like to follow-up with the gifts of pain.  In the last year and a half I have been brought to my knees, literally and figuratively, and even though I would never want to go through this again I believe that we are given the opportunity to claim who we really are when we are in pain or go through periods of suffering.

Through the tears, anger and deep disappointment I have to look myself in the eye and see a man that has to be brave due to circumstances.  I now realise that being brave is actually not something that I want to do.  My idea of the hero that is so brave has blown away with the wind.  Being brave means that you have to dig in where it hurts; it means you have to do stuff you really don't want to do, again and again and again until your energy is depleted and you feel like crawling into a little ball and die.

It is here though that I have the choice to get up again through the pain, tears and pills and just focus on the next ten minutes or hour.  Ignore the fear of having to this for an indeterminate time.  What I am saying is that the character that is being built, the faith that is being developed and the relationships that are being strengthened is invaluable.  They are gifts of pain.

I don't want to be sore.  I don't want to be weak.  I do however have to face myself, let my ego be trimmed and my will be shaped so that I can be here and have peace with who I am no matter what I do or how I look.  All that is not necessary is being challenged and removed.  It is another gift that is accompanied by pain.

Today I fight to smile.  Today I look for the beautiful.  Today I cry.  Today I recognise the opportunity to live.  Today I welcome peace and joy.  Today I welcome the gifts of pain.